The first inclination during divorce is making life unpleasant for the spouse that made life difficult for you and your children. Whether that entails keeping children away during the divorce proceedings, breaking their favorite personal effects, or imposing lofty expectations impossible to fulfill.
Divorce isn’t an event we plan. It’s preferred that such travesties are averted in our lives, but should tumultuous relationships finally run their course, divorce is imminent.
The last thing you’ll want, according to our Salt Lake City divorce attorney, is a constant rift between you and the one you’re divorcing. Children are already emotional wrecks, so why make their lives any harder than necessary? We explore ways to make dissolutions of marriage smoother for the little ones.
Listen to their desires
Have you considered what your children may want in terms of parenting time, housing arrangements, and monetary contributions? Nothing is more damaging to our children than denying them access to both parents unless doing so would detriment their health.
Maybe they’d rather have weekends with dad. Overnights with mom, days with dad, and some evenings with grandma. Imposing parental sanctions without discussing with children involved may seem like you’re doing what’s right in hindsight, but you couldn’t be more wrong.
Unless your children aren’t competent enough to make decisions without your assistance, they should always have some say in what happens during the divorce because, after all, they’re the product of a once successful marriage.
Don’t shield them from reality
You’re probably wanting to shovel the children off to your mother’s home until the divorce blows over. In doing so, your belief is that your kids will be shielded from the emotional rollercoaster you’re about to ride. Well, it’s partially understandable why you’d make this choice, but it’s also unfair in principle.
The less your children learn about reality, the harder adapting to adulthood will become. Making children believe that life’s a big rainbow filled with pretty roses and easy decisions won’t help them when they’re faced with adversity. Tell them why you’re using a Salt Lake City divorce attorney.
Don’t yell at your ex-spouse over the phone, but process why you’re upset after an argument. Help them understand what disagreement is causing strife between mom and dad. You never know, perhaps they’ve got an ingenious solution you’ve not thought of.
Remember, kids, will thank you later
How much or little you include children in decisions will affect how they treat you when they’ve left home. And, of course, you’ll regret not considering their needs during your divorce.
The best way to avoid making divorce harsher on children than necessary is to keep communication open between them, you and the other parent. Listen to what they’re seeing as an innocent bystander. And, above all else, don’t verbally abuse their mom or dad in their presence.
Children will be forever grateful for how you treat them during a divorce. Moreover, your relationship will strengthen with them if you’re fair in how the divorce ends.
Need immediate help from an experienced Salt Lake City divorce attorney? ContactEmy A. Cordano, a woman who survived her own divorce, today.